We'll take your money ...

I ordered some brake pads for my 'classic' MR2 from Eurocarparts. When I placed the order this showed on the page,

Note that one set of the the pads were in stock, the other 'available to order'. However, a day after I got an 'order confirmation' email. I got this email.

Yep ... after taking my money, they have decided to see if they can get the products I ordered. And does this email apply to both products or are the 'in stock' pads already on their way to me?

But here's the worst aspect of this. They have taken my money - but I have to contact them to see if they can supply the goods I have already paid for. What if I do not? Will they automatically refund my payment. 'Shoddy' does not do this service justice.

And email is still the poor relation

I covered this issue back in 2008 and again in 2012 ... and things seem to be getting worse and not better.

Here's the automated response to my filling in a response form on npower's website [they keep sending me the bill for something that I paid for six months ago]. 

Can you believe it - 7 to 10 days to respond? That's up to two weeks on their Mon-Fri working times. To paraphrase what I said back in 2008: 

Yep, they can supply folk to answer phones 12 hours a day, but it can take 10 days to answer an email!

Ho hum.

locked out ... when I'm already in

This is similar to my previous entry in some ways - except in this one I was trying to access a facility AFTER I had logged in using my name and password. The problem was that the system was not accepting my memorable name. Now, I'm pretty sure I has it right - but anyway, I clicked on the link to get my memorable name sent to me. And got this ..

 As you can see from the 'sign out' link - I was already signed in. And yet the 'name does not match that on our records'. So ... that will be the name I used when I just logged in a few minutes ago. You know ... the name it used when it welcomed me in using - yes - my name. 

unsubscribing a non-subscription

This is a subject I have covered before, and I suspect there is something nefarious behind it - but I got this email from Cheapflghts.co.uk. 

Now, I may have looked at that site, but I have never purchased from it and I have never subscribed to it ... so I clicked on the 'unsubscribe' button, entered my email in the box and got this ...

 

Yep - the email address they sent me to welcome me as a subscriber to the Cheapflights newsletter isn't an email address that is subscribed to the Cheapflights newsletter.

So ... in a very competitive market, would I ever trust Cheapflghts.co.uk with my holiday flight booking?  

ooops ... Google spams its own email

Google's gmail managed to decide this message from Google was spam and [automatically] put it in my spam folder. Doh!

Get a life

I've been doing research for my new book [Social Media Marketing ... coming to a bookshop or computer screen near you soon] and I was looking for example of good practice in social media service. One organization which seems to get it right with customers is First Direct.

However, I came across the following example of one of the bank's Twitter conversations.

OK, so I'm maybe I'm living in the last [lost?] generation ... but conversations with my bank about odd socks? I can't even remember having a conversation with either of my ex-wives about odd socks - let alone complete strangers at my bank.

Is that really what social media marketing is all about? Or is it part of relationship marketing?  Or do people on Twitter really have nothing else in their lives that they 'like/friend' commercial entities and then respond to inane questions sent out to them?

Ho hum

SERP that takes the biscuit

For reasons I won't go into ... I had cause to search for "McVities" on Google. And this was the result:

Now that is what I call getting your SE branding strategy right. Take particular note of the bold/blue/link titles - which are determined by the website developer. For students of domain names - I like the McVitie's' use of .co.uk and .com. 

no phone ... no business

I was shopping around for some motorbike insurance - and this is what I found on one 'comparison-type' site:

So here's the thing: I don't give out my mobile phone number to businesses with whom I have no relationship ie I am not a customer. Even with those to whom I am a customer, I'm very selective about who gets my number. So there is no way I was going to give out my number only for every one of the insurance companies listed on the site to text or ring me about insurance.

So I abandoned the quote ... no business for them.

Oh ... I nearly forgot - what if I don't actually have a mobile phone?

not supporting supporters

I received this email. It is from the football club I have supported for nearly 50 years. The football club for which I have had a 'Forest Player' subscription for around 10 years. A subscription for which this email address is the contact email address for my subscription to 'Forest Player'.

 

My only consolation is that [I assume] the service is outsourced to an organization that needs to read anything on the subject of relationship management.

 

Ho hum.

no long names please

Here's another bad practice I thought had died out in the last century.

 

I was setting up a standing order from a TSB bank account - including, as you would expect, the name of the recipient. Which was fine if you have a short name. The recipient in my case is a business and has 28 characters [including spaces] in its name. But the form only allowed only 16 characters - I couldn't even fit my name in. Ho hum.

Forest failing

To celebrate my team winning its two matches over the Christmas period - I did what a lot of supporters do ... and went to buy something from the [online] club shop.

 

Having selected my purchase [see below - I was there on that day :) ]

 

I went to the checkout - but when I went to register on the site [why?] I found that as I had bought something before my details were on record ...

 

 

 

 

... but I could not remember my 'client reference number', so I followed the instructions and arrived on a page where I was asked for my email address so that it could be sent to me. But when I did so, I was told that there was no customer record for that email address.

So - not for the first time when trying to make a purchase on a site I've been to before - part of its system told me I did exist, but another part of that system told me I did not. Ho hum.

 

digital amnesia

... and still it goes on. TV advertising campaign: direct marketing email campaign: all to get me - and others - to spend money in the Homebase sale.

 

So it works ... I decide that leaf blower I have put off buying for years could be what I use to clear this year's leaves from my garden. And there is a Homebase about a mile away. And I'm up early on Boxing Day - so check their website to see what time the store opens, and get this ...

 

Yep, no mention of any Bank Holiday openings. Ho hum.

adidas marketers touch down between the e-marketing posts

I came across this excellent Tweet which celebrated the All Blacks rugby team winning all 14 of its matches in a calendar year.

 

Clicking on the link took you to ...

 

 

If there are any of my ex- students who cannot tell you why so many 'w's can be used then they weren't concentrating in week/chapter 2.

 

PS, you could always check out why in my domain names book. 

doh ! doh ! doh !

It's not that unusual for a direct marketing email to fail to render [show] in the receiver's inbox. Well this one's a doozy. Below is just a fiftieth [yes, 1/50th] of the code which appeared when I opened this email:

 

But it gets worse. This was from a digital marketing company promoting their new website. As I said; triple doh!

There was a follow-up email half an hour later, but it said:

"Note: A previous version of this email contained an image that did not render correctly in some email clients. We are re-sending to those affected and we apologize for any confusion."

In my opinion, a less formal approach would have been better. Why not admit to the error rather than - seemingly - blaming the technology of the receiver.  

Oh, by the way, I'll refrain from naming the company - they should be squirming enough as it is.

is this why International Business Machines became IBM?

... so they could get their email address on contact forms?

 

I was filling in a form to get a free IBM report - but sadly there was a limit in the amount of characters I could enter for my email address ...

 

Yep, two characters short. Schoolchild error.